Forget the Sticks and Stones...Words Can Be More Painful

I was shopping at Target yesterday with my toddler in tow. At times, he got a little cranky, wanted to keep moving or wanted something to drink. I accomodated his wishes while still trying to fulfill my own retail desires, until I finally gave in and decided to take him home.

I was in the check-out line behind another mom who was obviously very overwhelmed by her own toddler. He was standing up in the grocery cart and she kept asking him to sit down. My son must have witnessed this because he began to stand up in the cart's seat, so I went ahead and secured his seat belt a little tighter to avoid any accidents. Meanwhile, Overwhelmed Mom kept telling her little guy to sit down, sit down, sit down.

Then I heard her say something that really stopped me in my tracks. She began to call him a "bad baby." Instead of using his name, she said, "Sit down, bad baby. No bad baby. You can't have that bad baby." The child seemed unfazed; I think I took it harder than he did. Then again, as a therapist, I imagined him as an adult with self-esteem issues, trying to obtain the approval of others.

My heart did go out to Overwhelmed Mom too. It was apparent that the stress had gotten to her, which it does for most people. She was trying to get her shopping done while taking care of her active child, and who knows what else she was juggling. Other children? A partner? A job? Elderly parents?

This mom reminded me of the importance of self-care. Take time for yourself! Many people who read this will probably say, "What time? I have no time!" These same people probably rearrange their lives to accomodate others. While that is noble and generous, I urge you to be just as accomodating to yourself. Even if it's 15 minutes, at least that time is yours. (Visit another post for further tips: http://mentalhealtheducation.blogspot.com/2010/04/feeling-overwhelmed-by-daily-tasks-here.html)

I wanted to talk to Overwhelmed Mom, tell her I understand, and provide her a little education on how words can be so powerful. Instead, I sent positive thoughts her way, wishing her a little peace, and looked at my own son and told him what a good boy he is. Every parent makes mistakes, but if we just took a little time to take care of ourselves, our children will be better for it.