Imagine being a child and not being able to sleep for days. Imagine being terrified of being alone with your thoughts. Imagine drinking yourself into oblivion just to get through the day. Imagine dragging a blade across your arm, only to cut so deep you had to be hospitalized for a suicide attempt.
Unfortunately, many of you may have actually experienced these events first-hand. Some of you may have experienced more than one. Marya Hornbacher experienced them all, and more.
Marya Hornbacher is a thirty-something who was not diagnosed with bipolar disorder until her twenties, though she had a history of serious symptoms since childhood. She chronicles her pursuit of optimum mental health in Madness.
In her book, she details the dark, sleepless nights she had as a child which would usually end in violent sobs and rivers of tears as her mother tried her best to comfort her. In her teens, while battling an eating disorder, she was diagnosed with depression and placed on an SSRI (a type of anti-depressant which targets the serotonin levels in your brain), which she later found out would send her into severe mania. Her manic episodes would usually consist of excessive spending, risky sexual behavior and heavy alcohol consumption. At the end of her mania, she would sink into a deep depression, sending her into psychiatric hospitals on several occassions.
The book is a brutal account of a severe mental illness and its effects on a highly intelligent and creative woman. At times it was dark and disturbing. Other times it was confusing. But, overall, it provided a great insight into the realities of mental illness, good psychiatric care and the value of a positive support system.
**A big thank you to my husband for buying this book for me!**
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Suicide Prevention and Education
I attended a very valuable conference last week on Healing Grief After Suicide. There was discussion about the importance of suicide prevention and education in our school system. Naturally, this got me thinking about my own high school experience with suicide.
As we all know, rumors abound in the high school hallways. Who's dating who, who cheated on the test, who's smoking pot by the tree, etc. But, sometimes these rumors became more serious and unfortunately were based on fact. I remember hearing about a young freshman at our school who was hospitalized. She was not that popular, though she tried to be. She would dress in trendy clothes, talk to the popular crowd, join the social clubs. I often heard people complain about her, calling her a "wanna-be" and a "suck-up."
Then one day I heard she cut her wrists. She tried to kill herself, and was hospitalized for an unknown period of time. I don't remember if she came back to our school. Now, mind you, I heard the rumor and was merely an acquaintance of hers, so I can imagine the whole school heard about it.
After this girl tried to take her own life, I was talking to a close friend of mine about the situation. He revealed he tried the same thing over the summer. He stated a relative caught him with a gun under his chin and stopped him. I was at a loss for words. I couldn't believe I almost lost this good friend of mine. I couldn't believe he didn't know to ask for my help.
But, what would I say? Suicide was never addressed at my school. The guidance counselors were much too busy with class schedules. Our Life Skills class was too focused on telling us the dangers of sex (i.e. pregnancy, STDs) rather than the dangers of depression. And, it was more important to hold pep rallys for the football team and award ceremonies for the academic achievers than to educate the students on what to say if a classmate tells you she wants to kill herself.
Did you know suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds? And 50 to 75 percent of all suicides give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
So, what do you do if someone tells you they are thinking of suicide?
Start by telling the person you are concerned and give him/her examples.
If he/she is depressed, don't be afraid to ask whether he/she is considering suicide, or if he/she has a particular plan or method in mind.
Ask if they have a therapist and are taking medication.
Do not attempt to argue someone out of suicide. Rather, let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone, that suicidal feelings are temporary and that depression can be treated. A
Avoid the temptation to say, "You have so much to live for," or "Your suicide will hurt your family."
Be actively involved in encouraging the person to see a physician or mental health professional immediately.
If the person is in immediate danger, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. (www.afsp.org)
I can only imagine how many young lives can be saved if we just started talking about suicide, instead of hiding it, being ashamed of it, or thinking it will "just go away." Living in a world of secrecy, the unmentionable becomes unmanageable.
What are your own experiences with suicide?
As we all know, rumors abound in the high school hallways. Who's dating who, who cheated on the test, who's smoking pot by the tree, etc. But, sometimes these rumors became more serious and unfortunately were based on fact. I remember hearing about a young freshman at our school who was hospitalized. She was not that popular, though she tried to be. She would dress in trendy clothes, talk to the popular crowd, join the social clubs. I often heard people complain about her, calling her a "wanna-be" and a "suck-up."
Then one day I heard she cut her wrists. She tried to kill herself, and was hospitalized for an unknown period of time. I don't remember if she came back to our school. Now, mind you, I heard the rumor and was merely an acquaintance of hers, so I can imagine the whole school heard about it.
After this girl tried to take her own life, I was talking to a close friend of mine about the situation. He revealed he tried the same thing over the summer. He stated a relative caught him with a gun under his chin and stopped him. I was at a loss for words. I couldn't believe I almost lost this good friend of mine. I couldn't believe he didn't know to ask for my help.
But, what would I say? Suicide was never addressed at my school. The guidance counselors were much too busy with class schedules. Our Life Skills class was too focused on telling us the dangers of sex (i.e. pregnancy, STDs) rather than the dangers of depression. And, it was more important to hold pep rallys for the football team and award ceremonies for the academic achievers than to educate the students on what to say if a classmate tells you she wants to kill herself.
Did you know suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death among 15 to 24-year-olds? And 50 to 75 percent of all suicides give some warning of their intentions to a friend or family member.
So, what do you do if someone tells you they are thinking of suicide?
Start by telling the person you are concerned and give him/her examples.
If he/she is depressed, don't be afraid to ask whether he/she is considering suicide, or if he/she has a particular plan or method in mind.
Ask if they have a therapist and are taking medication.
Do not attempt to argue someone out of suicide. Rather, let the person know you care, that he/she is not alone, that suicidal feelings are temporary and that depression can be treated. A
Avoid the temptation to say, "You have so much to live for," or "Your suicide will hurt your family."
Be actively involved in encouraging the person to see a physician or mental health professional immediately.
If the person is in immediate danger, call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK. (www.afsp.org)
I can only imagine how many young lives can be saved if we just started talking about suicide, instead of hiding it, being ashamed of it, or thinking it will "just go away." Living in a world of secrecy, the unmentionable becomes unmanageable.
What are your own experiences with suicide?
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
90 Minutes in Heaven by Don Piper -- Review
My only complaint about 90 Minutes in Heaven is that I wished it would have lasted longer. And, I believe author Don Piper would share the same sentiment.
90 Minutes in Heaven tells the story of Don Piper’s miraculous return to life after a terrible car wreck left him for dead. His car was hit by a semi that crossed into his lane and medical personnel reported he died on impact. However, a faithful minister who was driving by decided to get out of his car, climb into what was left of Piper’s vehicle, and pray for 90 minutes. His prayers were answered and Piper literally woke up singing.
Through his book, Piper gives us details of his experience during those 90 minutes. The sounds, the sights and the emotions--Piper has a way of describing them all to make readers believe they were standing right next to him. A minister himself, he believed he went to heaven and was disappointed to return. After all, his return meant that now he had the opportunity to recover from his accident, which left his right leg crushed, his left leg shattered in two places, his left arm missing the major bones to hold his left hand into place, and thousands of shards of glass all over his body.
Piper’s recovery took an excruciatingly painful year during which time his faith was tested, his depression worsened and his family life was turned upside down. He was angry at God for bringing him back to life to suffer so much during his recovery. He was angry at God for giving him a glimpse of heaven and then taking it away from him. The reader finds it easy to empathize with Piper and I even found myself thinking, “Just hang on, it’s going to get better.”
And it did. Eventually, with the help of his family and friends, Piper saw his moments in heaven as a blessing rather than a curse. His appreciation for this gift grew and his resentment diminished. It was then that he began to share his experience with others in his life and when he decided to share this experience with the world.
His depression also relented, but only after Piper sought to seek help, which I think is a valuable lesson illustrated in this book. Before the accident, Piper was a self-sufficient, strong leader in his church. Others came to him for guidance and comfort. Now he was in a position where life had forced him to ask for that same guidance and comfort. His pride was his obstacle and once he learned how to overcome it, he realized that by asking others for help, he was giving them a gift. He helped others so much and now they had the opportunity to return the favor, and they were grateful for it.
Individuals who suffer from depression, whether it be acute or chronic, often have a difficult time reaching out for help. I have suggested this book to my clients who are feeling this way in order to normalize their feelings and hopefully discover that it’s okay to reach out to others.
I also offer this book to help individuals recognize resilience, and to explore their own resilience when experiencing the aftermath of a tragedy, such as the death of a loved one. For clients who have a strong belief system, it also provides comfort when they hear someone else’s testament that there is an afterlife.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to share in Piper’s strength, determination and triumph. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to cheer him on, or who needs a little cheering themselves. I recommend this book to anyone who has asked themselves “Why?” Piper asked why, and although he did not always find an answer, he did find peace.
90 Minutes in Heaven tells the story of Don Piper’s miraculous return to life after a terrible car wreck left him for dead. His car was hit by a semi that crossed into his lane and medical personnel reported he died on impact. However, a faithful minister who was driving by decided to get out of his car, climb into what was left of Piper’s vehicle, and pray for 90 minutes. His prayers were answered and Piper literally woke up singing.
Through his book, Piper gives us details of his experience during those 90 minutes. The sounds, the sights and the emotions--Piper has a way of describing them all to make readers believe they were standing right next to him. A minister himself, he believed he went to heaven and was disappointed to return. After all, his return meant that now he had the opportunity to recover from his accident, which left his right leg crushed, his left leg shattered in two places, his left arm missing the major bones to hold his left hand into place, and thousands of shards of glass all over his body.
Piper’s recovery took an excruciatingly painful year during which time his faith was tested, his depression worsened and his family life was turned upside down. He was angry at God for bringing him back to life to suffer so much during his recovery. He was angry at God for giving him a glimpse of heaven and then taking it away from him. The reader finds it easy to empathize with Piper and I even found myself thinking, “Just hang on, it’s going to get better.”
And it did. Eventually, with the help of his family and friends, Piper saw his moments in heaven as a blessing rather than a curse. His appreciation for this gift grew and his resentment diminished. It was then that he began to share his experience with others in his life and when he decided to share this experience with the world.
His depression also relented, but only after Piper sought to seek help, which I think is a valuable lesson illustrated in this book. Before the accident, Piper was a self-sufficient, strong leader in his church. Others came to him for guidance and comfort. Now he was in a position where life had forced him to ask for that same guidance and comfort. His pride was his obstacle and once he learned how to overcome it, he realized that by asking others for help, he was giving them a gift. He helped others so much and now they had the opportunity to return the favor, and they were grateful for it.
Individuals who suffer from depression, whether it be acute or chronic, often have a difficult time reaching out for help. I have suggested this book to my clients who are feeling this way in order to normalize their feelings and hopefully discover that it’s okay to reach out to others.
I also offer this book to help individuals recognize resilience, and to explore their own resilience when experiencing the aftermath of a tragedy, such as the death of a loved one. For clients who have a strong belief system, it also provides comfort when they hear someone else’s testament that there is an afterlife.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to share in Piper’s strength, determination and triumph. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to cheer him on, or who needs a little cheering themselves. I recommend this book to anyone who has asked themselves “Why?” Piper asked why, and although he did not always find an answer, he did find peace.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Add Some Color to Your Life!
Sometimes when we are depressed, we tend to see our situations in black and white. This is also called “all or nothing” thinking. If you find yourself muttering:
“Nothing ever goes my way.”
“Everything I do is wrong.”
“I’m a complete failure.”
“This is the worst job in the world!”
“Everything bad happens to me.”
….then you probably see your life in black and white! These statements are extreme and if you were to break it down, you’d probably realize that there are other worse jobs and that sometimes things do go your way.
To break these thoughts down, ask yourself the following questions:
1). Is it really true?
2). What evidence do I have that supports this statement?
3). What evidence do I have that disproves this statement?
If you do this with all of the extreme statements you make, then you’ll probably start realizing just how extreme they are. So, how do you stop making such statements?
First, you’ll want to pay very close attention to your vocabulary, your thinking vocabulary and your speaking vocabulary. How often do you use words like “always,” “never,” “all” and “every”? Why not replace these words with “sometimes” or focus on the solitary incident instead of generalizing it to every situation?
If you start to eliminate the use of the words, you'll notice a decrease in your extreme statements and a decrease in negative thinking. And with any luck, you’ll see greener grass on your side of the fence!
“Nothing ever goes my way.”
“Everything I do is wrong.”
“I’m a complete failure.”
“This is the worst job in the world!”
“Everything bad happens to me.”
….then you probably see your life in black and white! These statements are extreme and if you were to break it down, you’d probably realize that there are other worse jobs and that sometimes things do go your way.
To break these thoughts down, ask yourself the following questions:
1). Is it really true?
2). What evidence do I have that supports this statement?
3). What evidence do I have that disproves this statement?
If you do this with all of the extreme statements you make, then you’ll probably start realizing just how extreme they are. So, how do you stop making such statements?
First, you’ll want to pay very close attention to your vocabulary, your thinking vocabulary and your speaking vocabulary. How often do you use words like “always,” “never,” “all” and “every”? Why not replace these words with “sometimes” or focus on the solitary incident instead of generalizing it to every situation?
If you start to eliminate the use of the words, you'll notice a decrease in your extreme statements and a decrease in negative thinking. And with any luck, you’ll see greener grass on your side of the fence!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Stress Management
You’ve just gotten home from a long day at work. You haven’t been home since 7 o’clock this morning and you get out of the car, looking forward to plop down on the couch and put your feet up. The only decisions you are planning to make is whether you should watch your favorite television program, read a book or simply meditate.
You take a look at the lawn and realize it hasn’t been mowed, even though your landscaper promised it would happen today. That’s okay. You’ll give him a call when you get in the house; it should only take a few minutes and then you can relax.
You check the mail. More bills, one marked past due, even though you could have sworn you paid it. You’ll make a phone call to them tomorrow.
You walk inside the house and see the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Your son promised to wash them when he got home from school, as well as take out the trash. You check that and see he hasn’t done that either.
You open the refrigerator and realize you forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost for tonight’s supper. You groan as you try to figure out something else to cook.
You walk down the hallway to your bedroom and realize the dog has made a mess on the floor, and no one has cleaned it up yet. You step over it and head straight to your daughter’s room to ask her why she didn’t take out the dog like she was supposed to. She’s lying in bed with a headache. So, you step over the poo and get her some aspirin.
Then you walk back and clean up the poo.
Then you walk into your son’s room only to find a note on his door saying he went to a friend’s house and he will be home in time for supper.
Then you head to the phone to call the landscaper and see that your husband has left a message, indicating he will be home after he goes to the gym tonight.
You take a look at the couch and realize you did have something planned that involved the couch tonight, but now, with all these other responsibilities, you’ve forgotten what that plan is.
Sound familiar?
If so, then you are one of plenty of women who are suffering from stress. Today’s woman has many responsibilities—work, school, home life, children, spouse, etc. Gone are the June Cleaver days (if they ever really existed). Now you feel like you have to be Wonder Woman, conquering the world and saving the day.
Although you might be helping everyone around you, the truth is, you’re hurting yourself. Many women become so involved in taking care of others, that they neglect to take care of the one person who matters the most—themselves!
Working with individuals who can relate to the above description, I have come to discover that there are five areas in life that need to be nurtured in order to obtain and maintain a well-balanced lifestyle. These areas are spiritual, social, emotional, mental and physical.
The Spiritual Piece
How do you get in touch with your spirituality? Some people practice their spirituality by going to church, others by communing with nature. Some read religious literature, others meditate. Whatever you do that helps you get in touch with your inner peace, practice it on a regular basis.
Your Social Life
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives, we forget that there’s a whole other world out there that needs to be enjoyed. Get in touch with old friends, schedule lunch dates or play dates or a girls night out. Limited on friends? Join a social networking group with others who have a common bond. Schedule time with family or take a few minutes every day to chat with co-workers.
Getting In Touch Your Emotions
When we have so much on our plate, sometimes we go on automatic pilot and ignore how we’re feeling inside. Ignoring our emotions will ultimately lead to feeling stressed. Therefore it’s important to get in touch with those feelings, recognize them and acknowledge them. You can do this by journaling, writing a letter, talking to someone you trust or seeking individual or group therapy.
Stimulate your Mind
What stimulates your mind? Tackling a project at work? Learning a new language or craft? Doing a crossword puzzle or sudoku? Reading a book or the newspaper? Watching an educational TV program? Engage in mental stimulation on a regular basis to keep your interests up and your mind sharp.
Your Physical Body
Taking care of your body goes hand-in-hand with taking care of your mind. If we ignore one, it will exacerbate symptoms in the other, such as upset stomach, rapid heartbeat, headaches, etc. Make sure you are eating proper foods; they are the fuel that makes your body go. Exercise on a regular basis by walking, running, yoga, playing a new sport. Also, treat your body to luxuries such as massage, a new haircut or a facial.
It’s important that we nurture these five areas equally (or as equally as possible) in order to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Doing so will prevent feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, isolation, sadness, and anxiety. It will also create a healthier and happier you!
You take a look at the lawn and realize it hasn’t been mowed, even though your landscaper promised it would happen today. That’s okay. You’ll give him a call when you get in the house; it should only take a few minutes and then you can relax.
You check the mail. More bills, one marked past due, even though you could have sworn you paid it. You’ll make a phone call to them tomorrow.
You walk inside the house and see the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. Your son promised to wash them when he got home from school, as well as take out the trash. You check that and see he hasn’t done that either.
You open the refrigerator and realize you forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer to defrost for tonight’s supper. You groan as you try to figure out something else to cook.
You walk down the hallway to your bedroom and realize the dog has made a mess on the floor, and no one has cleaned it up yet. You step over it and head straight to your daughter’s room to ask her why she didn’t take out the dog like she was supposed to. She’s lying in bed with a headache. So, you step over the poo and get her some aspirin.
Then you walk back and clean up the poo.
Then you walk into your son’s room only to find a note on his door saying he went to a friend’s house and he will be home in time for supper.
Then you head to the phone to call the landscaper and see that your husband has left a message, indicating he will be home after he goes to the gym tonight.
You take a look at the couch and realize you did have something planned that involved the couch tonight, but now, with all these other responsibilities, you’ve forgotten what that plan is.
Sound familiar?
If so, then you are one of plenty of women who are suffering from stress. Today’s woman has many responsibilities—work, school, home life, children, spouse, etc. Gone are the June Cleaver days (if they ever really existed). Now you feel like you have to be Wonder Woman, conquering the world and saving the day.
Although you might be helping everyone around you, the truth is, you’re hurting yourself. Many women become so involved in taking care of others, that they neglect to take care of the one person who matters the most—themselves!
Working with individuals who can relate to the above description, I have come to discover that there are five areas in life that need to be nurtured in order to obtain and maintain a well-balanced lifestyle. These areas are spiritual, social, emotional, mental and physical.
The Spiritual Piece
How do you get in touch with your spirituality? Some people practice their spirituality by going to church, others by communing with nature. Some read religious literature, others meditate. Whatever you do that helps you get in touch with your inner peace, practice it on a regular basis.
Your Social Life
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our own lives, we forget that there’s a whole other world out there that needs to be enjoyed. Get in touch with old friends, schedule lunch dates or play dates or a girls night out. Limited on friends? Join a social networking group with others who have a common bond. Schedule time with family or take a few minutes every day to chat with co-workers.
Getting In Touch Your Emotions
When we have so much on our plate, sometimes we go on automatic pilot and ignore how we’re feeling inside. Ignoring our emotions will ultimately lead to feeling stressed. Therefore it’s important to get in touch with those feelings, recognize them and acknowledge them. You can do this by journaling, writing a letter, talking to someone you trust or seeking individual or group therapy.
Stimulate your Mind
What stimulates your mind? Tackling a project at work? Learning a new language or craft? Doing a crossword puzzle or sudoku? Reading a book or the newspaper? Watching an educational TV program? Engage in mental stimulation on a regular basis to keep your interests up and your mind sharp.
Your Physical Body
Taking care of your body goes hand-in-hand with taking care of your mind. If we ignore one, it will exacerbate symptoms in the other, such as upset stomach, rapid heartbeat, headaches, etc. Make sure you are eating proper foods; they are the fuel that makes your body go. Exercise on a regular basis by walking, running, yoga, playing a new sport. Also, treat your body to luxuries such as massage, a new haircut or a facial.
It’s important that we nurture these five areas equally (or as equally as possible) in order to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Doing so will prevent feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, isolation, sadness, and anxiety. It will also create a healthier and happier you!
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